Listened to: Variety of old old songs in old old laptop.

I spent my whole day yesterday figuring out things between mp4, lappy and me. Though the atmosphere were so intense, I managed to squeeze in the guitar in the middle and not forgetting a lil bit of tv too. Somehow, things were left unsettled between lappy and mp4, but I'm sure glad to have done everything by just now morning. Go figure.

Nyway, I was looking back at the old pictures in my dad's lappy and I realised how much I've grown both in and out. Well, please do not infer it literally. I mean, looking backed at the geeky me is pretty much now mean. I have to agree with a point. I do felt liked I was more used before than now. Weird to be feeling like this? Well you tell me.

My point is that, I felt a whole new air coming in, and when I happen to look back, it is sad, to see how much I missed out and what happen to me just so I can become a better me now. (Get it?) And to be sad about this is entirely wrong. But to be grieving for how much I miss is definitely it. I have to be honest, listening to songs that used to be in mp4 makes me feel better. And I was more calm to think about what I feel is going wrong. I felt more unme when I'm filled but when I lost it, I'm just gay. The matter is just about losing and having.

Now life is simply hectic and getting harder to breathe. Pollution not only literally but also metaphorically. Somedays I might just be feeling liked its the last day I'll be here whereas some other days I am just plainly who I always am.

I do believe that sometimes, life is all about managing and doing whats right and for once, doing wrongs will do you good. But now, things just aren't how it seems to be. And maybe that is the missing piece that I feel.

I got stuck and when I moved, I got scared . And when I look back, I wished that I am where I was.