Woke up around 4.30pm in the afternoon. Fuhh! Thanks for letting the scary thoughts haunt me. Aiyerr, if only MG were here. I would be able to sleep at ease without having anything to worry about.

Anyway, I was alarmed by the sound of my oh so silent phone ringing. So I woke up and came to know that my mum tried calling me several times. Sorry mum. As I was saying. I woke up, asnwer her call, and found out that she wanted to treat me KFC since I was craving for it the other day. Haha. So, without any hesitation, I went to change and only to get another call. No, not from Mum but instead its Brother. He wanted to join me for buka. So, rather than just the 3 people, its now the 5 people. -.-

So after having my buka, I did some errands for my mum. Went around Admiralty Place, searching high and low for the stuff while the rest of the family sat down under a big old tree, waiting for me. And I just realised how much I hate doing errands. Brr...

So after we had buka, we went home straight, to start on our journey to bake another kueh. Damn I wasnt in the mood nor senses to do any. So I thought I could just do abit of the stuff and let alone mummy to do it. However, it was more of the other way round. Tsk. So, I got a call from an old friend, who's been missing me. (Well, I think he does) That was my chance to escape from the menace. Stayed in my room, talking to him, blabbering, til its time to get back to work. It was then I realised that everything's done, cept for the washing up. So I did some cleaning, stayed on to watch some shows on tv then hit the bed.

The thought of me wanting my stuff back from the Exes were so out of the blue. But then again, its my stuff. Its my SENTIMENTAL VALUE. So, I need it back. Anyway, it wasnt me who gave it away, its them who thought I give them. Stupid. So decided to text Him and asked for it. However, he said that he didnt have any of them anymore since the last time I asked for it. Which was kinda weird. But I dont bother to give a secind thought. I just said nevermind, thanks. However, that leads to a torturing night. He called, complaining to me how tough life is for him. How he missed me, karma, and some other stuff which I wasnt paying attention.

He went to a part where he said he make wrong choices, in choosing someone. And that he should have choose me in the first place. All I can do was laughed. And I can still get a reply yeah I miseed those times. OMG. I'm laughing cause I cant believe he's still living in the past. I'm not even remeniscing (is that how you spell that word?). Furthermore, he's been living in a tough life before. Only now that he seems to be living in a even tougher life. And the way he talk bout things was like asking me to ask him for a patch. Haha. Dream on mister. When he asked why issit that I'm not looking for a guy. I gladly asnwered I already have a guy I love, why would I wanna look for one? Hahaha. And he was like haha, yeah...ergh, what did you just say?. Hahaha. Like as if I'm gonna say I wanna go back to you. Ergh, no way man. No way.

As I was talking to him, I was chatting with friend on MSN too. I was focusing more on the MSN rather than phone. So, I got tired and said that I wanna sahur. So we hung up. And now, friend seem to be focusing on game whereas me, blogging.

So, random things happen for the day.

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I guess I let the negative thoughts haunt me down. Its not good to think about such a thing especially when the negative stuff come about. I'm glad I'm feeling much better now and no longer feel like how I was in the morning. Well, I just wanna have a nice chat with you over a cup of noodle in a cup, perharps?

I know that things are all in the past, however I may not know how you feel now. But I hope you're happy to have me. By your side. I understand how her presence in your life is important and I understand how it feels like. I wouldnt say I know how you feel cause I was never in that shoe of yours. But I understand what you went through with her and how your story with her end now.

I thought of letting you decide who to share your ups and downs with. But you already make your choice. Which is me. So why would I wanna ask again right? I got you. And you got me.

You face difficulties, you lost almost everything. You heard voices and got stuck with discouragement too. I may not know what actually happen before, and what others or perharps she have said to you. But I hope that you give me your hand, and that trust of yours to live your life to the fullest again, no matter if we're in the ups or downs. I know its scary to try and put your trust into these words (again), but love, I'll be there. I'll be your shoulder to lean on. I'll be your hand to help you up. I'll be by you to go through the pain and sorrows. Believe in me, just like how I believe in you.

So come to me, now we can be what we want to be. I love you.



And tears run down my cheek as I wrote this down...