went out with wani and friends on saturday. it went well. sorry to make you guys wait for my brother to fetch me. sorry for the trouble though. but i do have fun. thanks for everything! (:

i really wasnt on my best that saturday. my lips were really making the whole appearance of me look bad and hideous. my lips were in a really bad shape. i shouldnt have went out that day. and i make a fool of myself.. haiz.. bygones. however, my saturday were spent with movie, talks n fun. yes, indeed its fun to be able to meet new ppl. and i just love when ppl call me iqah. haha. thanks for tagging me along wani! me love you so much!! hehe..

btw, meet up with my brother,then went to hmv.. n WANI!! I FINALLY BOUGHT MY DIRTY DANCING 2!!!! and its DVD!! hehe.. n your friends are indeed gorgeous ppl.. though i didnt really talk to most of them [due to my hideous lip], they are still fun to be with (:

after goin to hmv, we hang ard marina square cause my slengeh brother totally forgot where the hell he park the car! wth! we walk ard the whole carpark in search of the car.. sheesh. so after spending ard 45mins searching for the car, went to lido, orchard, where he meet up with afew of his other friends. gosh. we went to afew places after that. he promised dad he'll be home by 12midnight however, both of us reach home at 2.30 in the morning! i was freakingly tired and sleepy by that tyme. i keep on dreaming bout my cosy bed! hehe! so, that's how my saturday were spent..

woke up late today. didnt really spend my day studying until now. yes, i'm still struggling on geog ryte now. dad talk to me all this while bout studying n yet, i didnt mug that much until just now, where he only used very little sentences that do wake me up. the words wasnt harsh though but its powerful to me.

this year is a year where i really have to make aLOT of sacrifice. i agree that its hard to stop doing something that you love to do. but its better that we reduced it. i've been trying to stop the temptation of serving the net n i succeeded. (you guys dont see me blog that much ryte?) hee.. what's next on my list? well, i'm still figuring out.

i'm mad at myself and on how things turn out ryte now. sacrifice is important to me. i think i should stop goin out for the moment. i mean, out on a casual outings with friends and family not the studying part. i spent most of my weekends hanging around with my family than staying at home n study. yeah, that should be it. back to what i want to say. i just feel so heavy ryte now. things btwn me n hym arent going so good. yes, we are on the road to breakup. is that best solution to every problem? i dont know. things for me and abg arent going so good either. i've talk to hym these few days and i sure do feel used. like what wani would say,"i'm not your source of personal entertainment or humour!".. things ryte now are so complicated and its just so painful to remember. every minute i glimpse into the past, i feel even more terrible and confused than how i was. do things have to go this way? that's the only thing that you ask. why dont you try asking yourself whether this is how i wanted to things to go or not? i never wish for this to happen but what you like to say,"its over n there's nothing you can do bout it".. i know ppl learn from mistakes and sometimes wish for time to go back to how it was and avoid the wrong from happening. i know. i felt that too but time continue and wont stop. we have to chase after the tyme we have, not let the tyme past our eyes with a great disappointment waiting ahead. arghh. now i really wish that tyme will slow down.

to wan,
i'm really sorry for what i've done in the past. i do wanna be with you again but its painful for me to know that you cant let go of what had happen. you forgive but never forget. even if we start afresh, the past will still haunt you. i dont want that. i wanna it clean now but i dont think its possible. i cant sleep for afew nights thinking if what i'm doing is right. i'm so lost right now. i hurt you more than ever. it keep me thinking if what i'm doing will ever be good to you. i sacrifice alot for you when we're together. but still, the bad things are the one that you'll keep. i know you're trying your very bet to forget everything. but its even more painful when you said that you couldnt. maybe i'm just a devil to you. indeed i am bad.

i cant go on..
night..